Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
