i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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