I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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