he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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