trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
