the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize