the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
