I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
