when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's never too late to be topless.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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