He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
