im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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