I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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