when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
