I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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