She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
