??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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