My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
