I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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