Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
