I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
