i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
