I need help removing her.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
