She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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