I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
