If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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