i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
