I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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