so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
