Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
