Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
