So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
