Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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