No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
