Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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