Is it because I queefed?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
