Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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