Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
