I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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