So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
