we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
