There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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