I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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