it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
