I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
