paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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