oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
