I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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