I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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