You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sext me about skeletons
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
