these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
