He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
