matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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