Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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