The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
