so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
