Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize