he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
did you just send me my own nude
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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