Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
