she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
