What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
