my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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